The hook up

Everyone loves a good hook up right?  Saving a few dollars here and there because you "know a guy", or know a guy who knows a guy.  Old me didn't believe in hook ups, thought they were a recipe for disaster, that doing things the cheap way would burn you, and you'd end up paying more in the long run. 

Then I became broke me, and the hook up became so much more appealing.  You could get stuff done for 50% off, or more.  Sure what you got was of a questionable quality and origin, but you'd saved a few dollars.  Or had you?  And by "you" I totally mean me.

It turns out, old me was so right.  99% of the time, the hook up is a big bad idea, or a least is is for me. I've ended up in worse situation, or have had to spend more money, or have lost time messing around trying to get a hook up that likely wasn't worth a darn.  

No more.  I'll pay full price, get a warranty and do things the "right" way. It's not worth the drama.

Random Post

This was a regular feature of my old blog, and it worked some I'm bringing it here too.  This can also be called "When I feel like writing but don't really have anything to talk about"

• I am getting new tires tomorrow.  And I have the nerve to be kind of excited about it.  What kind of grown up foolishness is that?  Who gets excited about tires?  Especially tires that cost way too much money!  Me I guess.  Although I may just be happy that I no longer have to clutch the steering wheel for dear life when there's a drop of moisture. 
• While they're doing my tires, Ladybug and I will saunter across the parking lot and visit Target.  Interestingly enough, I'm not excited about that... Maybe it is opposites day, or maybe it is just because the Target over there blows. 
• I've eaten way too much salt this week.  I've picked up a few pounds and my stomach is all distended like I'm 20 weeks. There is nothing cute about that! 
• I've been so bored at work this week I've literally almost fallen out of my chair.  That's not good.  If it does ever happen, I will continue to lay there.  Otherwise, people will outright laugh at you. 
• I'm totally sleepy.  But it would take way too much effort to walk up the 6 steps to go to bed. 
• My refrigerator decided that it no longer wants to dispense water.  That isn't cool at all.  Drinking from the tap seems wrong.  Even though it's the same water.
• I wish I could get new release movies in my house.

Working Momdom

For nine of my eleven weeks of leave from work, I was in denial.  I was oh so sure that I wouldn't have to go back, although I had no idea how that was going to work.  I didn't play the lotto, or find a work from home program, or start using that Nigerian email scam on people, I just had decided that I wasn't going back.  Until the Friday two weeks before my leave, when I took a deep, hard look at my checking account, then spent the whole day crying.  I HAD to go back to work.  It wasn't a choice, there was no option, I HAD to go back.

Being a working mom sucks.  Yes, sucks.  It sucks hairy, infected monkey balls.  I work because it allows me to live and provide for my family. I hate how rushed I am. I am rushed in the morning, I am rushed at night. On a typical week day, I have 3-4 hours with Ladybug, which includes baths, getting dressed, nursing, etc. That was the biggest adjustment, to go from seeing her all day everyday, to a few fleeting hours. And, if I'm honest, those 11 weeks will likely be the only time that we'll be together like that.  That's fucked up.

I wish staying home was an option.  I wish I could be here to see all of her firsts, I wish mine was the face she'd see when she woke up from a nap. But instead I live with mommy guilt, and continue to tell myself that by working, I am doing the best I can to take care of her.

New Beginnings

After writing on my old blog for nearly 5 years, I decided it was time for a new start, a new beginning, a new journey.  My first blog was created to track my weight loss efforts (still working on it) and then morphed into a bit of everything. I tracked buying our first home, our infertility struggles, my struggles with learning to ask for help and relying on others.  I grew so much during the tenure of that first blog, and am not the same person that started writing 5 years ago. 

Nearly 4 months ago, I became a mommy. I AM A MOMMY!!!! In so many ways it still doesn't seem real.  Even though I have no time, no money and no sleep, in so many ways, Ladybug feels like a dream.  Motherhood is everything I imagined and more.  It is both harder and easier than I thought it'd be.  I am a new woman now, not only was Ladybug born on a Sunday in November, but the mommy-me was born as well.  We're both nearly 4 months old and learning and getting stronger every day. 

This blog will follow mommy-me (I totally just made that up) and Ladybug as we grow together.  And there will be plenty of randomness, and miscellaneous foolishness and whatever else makes me happy and run on sentences!

When will I have time to do this? Pffttt hell if I know, but I need to start getting my "head blogs" out, so here and there I guess.  Sleeping is overrated anyway.